Thoughts

I decided recently to write you a letter.
A letter of meanderings, thoughts, and ramblings of our life together from me, as your mother.
Being ill, has caused me to realize the importance of putting it down on paper, for you to know how much i love you all.
And the importance of the little things that make up our life.
Funny comments, touching heart- to- heart talks, our victories and even our disappointments.
Struggling with this illness has affected each of us in our own way.
Your father has had to carry a heavy load, both physically and emotionally.
As kids, you have learned I can't be there for you like i once was.
Sacrifices have been made. You've seen the love and support of family and close friends help us to stay on our feet.
My bedroom has become a common place for you, and even your friends to visit with me.
My mood has a tendency to affect this whole family, so when i am down i know it is hard for you all to press on with your own lives.

I have been present to see the fruit shown evident in your lives at the roughest times:

Jon, coming to me with that smile every morning and asking how i am doing. Offering prayer, hugs, and support without me asking.
Gracie,taking the time to  run errands to the grocery store so that we have milk and supper that night, even cooking it for us.
Daniel, walking into my room after school and lying across my bed, smelly with sweat, to check on me and say, "hey, momma"
Tate, curling up in bed near me in the evening to read his book, while i read mine. And praying for me anytime i ask.
Emma, ever encouraging me to get up, to get out, to put on makeup, even bribing me with a free manicure to pull me out of my depression.
Brad sitting with me and sharing his heart while i share mine. Understanding our weaknesses and not holding it against the other. And always leaves me with, a hug, and an "i love you, mom."
Tyler, for our much loved once- a- week talks to touch base and just catch up.
And to Katie, my sweet daughter'in law, who is and has always been a sweet blessing to our family. With her gentleness and her surprisingly dry wit. A charming combination.


I am blessed.